Once you get past the inevitable fear that your spouse may decide he or she wants to be single - a trial marital separation is actually a good tool if you use it properly.
First though, you'll want to make sure your relationship is well suited for a trial separation. For example, if you are being physically, emotionally or financially abused you may want to leave sooner than later.
In any case, the first step is to see a professional marriage counselor. Think of this step as a fishing expedition, to see if this path is even something you want to embark on.
You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
After you've spoken with a counselor, consulted a lawyer and discussed it with your spouse -
Here are some major areas to consider before opting for a trial separation:
Set the Ground Rules - Start with the perfect scenario, and then genuinely listen to any objections from your spouse
Living Arrangements - Who will stay at the house? Who will move out? Will you both rent your current home, and then get separate apartments.
Finances - This is a great time to begin handling your own finances if you have not done so before. You might consider opening individual accounts if you don't already have them
Lawyers - Do not put anything down on paper until you have discussed your plan with a lawyer. Lawyers have big egos and they love to talk, so you may get a consultation for free, initially. You may also check with a local law school. Some law schools have divorce clinics, that may be a great resource for you.
Important Questions You'll Want to Answer Early On --
1. Where will the children live?
2. Will you and your spouse sleep together during this period?
3. Will you both date other people during the separation?
4. How long will the separation last?
5. Will you continue to meet with a therapist during the trial separation? If so, will you meet jointly, or individually?
Other Tips:
1. Evaluate yourself and the role you play in your relationship difficulties.
2. Weigh the pros and cons of staying versus going.
3. Journal daily for 60 days before making a final decision.
4. Read at least four books on marriage, divorce and separation before you embark on a marital separation.
If used properly, a trial separation can actually improve your relationship. At worse, you will learn a lot about yourself, your spouse and your relationship.
To make a trial marital separation work, establish clear boundaries, set a timeframe, and maintain open communication. Financial planning is essential; consulting professionals, like Accounting Firms San Francisco, can help manage joint assets and expenses during the separation. This support aids both partners in making informed, balanced decisions for the future.